Her light, my hope
by meet-nightmist
Summary: Dark, all I can see is dark nothingness. No light, no hope, everything is the color of death. What I don’t understand is how I got here. How did I end up here of all places, after all the work I’ve done. Maybe that was the answer, maybe I worked too hard
1. Chapter 1

Her light, my hope

By NightMist

Dark, all I can see is dark nothingness. No light, no hope, everything is the color of death. What I don't understand is how I got here. How did I end up here of all places, after all the work I've done. Maybe that was the answer, maybe I worked too hard and didn't notice things changing around me. Maybe I was so far gone that even my friends, my beloved lost faith in me. Maybe that's why I'm here in this place all alone with nothing to hold on to.

But no, that can't be. I still can remember Mako-chan, Mina-chan, Ami-chan and others. I still remember how it felt to be held by her. How warm and loving it was. How her smile could make me feel better and at peace.

Then why am I here, alone in the dark. Oh now I remember. There has been a Youma attack. About dozen of them to be specific. We were fighting and one of them shot some kind of a liquid thing at Sailor Moon. My feet were running to her before even I could register and all I could think at that moment was to save my princess, my duty, my love. The next thing I remember doing is pushing Usagi out of the way and feeling almost blinding pain. In the haze of pain I heard several voices calling my name. That's right Rei is my name, Rei Hino. Sailor mars and protector of Princess Serenity. I remember several voices but all I can hear is her cry for me to be alright. My princess has such a good heart. Even in battle always worrying about everyone else. I remember my skin felt like burning, the pain was so great I almost gave up to the darkness that was threatening to engulf me. But I had to hold on for her sake. At least till the battle is over so I stood up ignoring the pain I felt all over. I rejoined the battle not taking notice of cries of protest from my friends. And of course just like my luck tree youma's attacked me at once. If I had been better I would have beaten them easily but as I was injured I was struck by their power taking full blast in my chest. I remember thinking of my love for my princess before everything turned black.

God maybe I'm dead. I mean I can't feel pain so it is the afterlife. If it is, I really want to go back. I haven't had an easy life. With my mother dieing, my father abandoning me and with the burden of one-sided love it wasn't just walk in the park. But I had my friends, I had grandpa and I had her friendship even it was not what I craved for.

"Stand up Sailor Mars" I heard a gentle voice call me what I assumed from my back. As I turned around I saw a woman standing there. Bright silver lights surrounded her. She had two long pig tails running down her back made in odangos. But as my princess had blonde hair this woman had silver hair. Her big bright blue eyes were the same but without Usagi's usual happiness. Her eyes were a bit sad but held wisdom in her depths. I only heard about her but I knew who she was. She is Queen Serenity, the ruler of Silver Millennium. I instantly got on my one knee bowing before her. Ofcourse I don't have to, I mean she's not ruling now but she's still the queen and the mother of my princess. I have to show respect for her.

"Please stand up, I'm not your queen now. You have done far more than me in this life than I have" she said with a gentle smile. I can see where Usagi gets her gentle and loving nature. It's truly amazing how these two can be alike. I stand up and wait for her to speak. If she's here then she must have something to tell me.

"Yes, I do have something to tell you and no I do not read minds, but mostly I am here to give you support" as she said this my mind began to run a mile in a second.

"Please, Rei-chan" that had my attention. I didn't know she knew my name.

"I know you and others quiet well, Rei-chan. As a mother I have been watching over my daughter and everything related to that so do not worry yourself. Now why don't we sit down, 'cause we'd be here for a while" and she extend her arms. I looked up and there were two comfortable looking chairs and a table. Why didn't I notice it before I don't know. I sat down and again waited for her to speak.

"Do you remember what happened before you came here?"

"Yes, we fought a dozen youma's and I got knocked out" I wasn't really sure if I was dead or anything so I settled for this.

"Yes, you saved my daughter and for that I'm very thankful to you. Thank you." She said while bowing a little. I felt so uncomfortable sitting there.

"It's my duty to protect her" I managed to mutter. She just smiled and looked a little amused.

"Do you know why you're here Rei-chan?"

"No, not really. Am I dead?" I couldn't look into her eyes, afraid of her answer.

"No you're not" at her words I breathed out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"But, Rei-chan you come to this place only if you're between life and death. In meaning your physical body is in comatose stage hovering between life and death" she said in a sad tone.

"But why I am here? I mean why not just die" I was in some kind of a shock hearing I might die.

"This is the place where you make a choice whether you live or move on. That is why I am here. To help you choose"


	2. Chapter 2

Her light, my hope

By Nightmist

_**I do not own anything related to Sailor Moon. **_

_**And special Thank You to Mysterious-SIN for my very first review. **_

Chapter Two

"Choose? What do you mean? If you're telling me to choose between life and death then of course I choose life" I thought it was obvious. I mean who would choose death over life, right. I looked at her for an answer but she was just sitting there looking at me and that was really making me nervous. Ok, then I'm going to try this a little different way.

"Why do I need to choose? If I choose life would it be worse than death?" I asked her.

"No, nothing is worse than death. But what you're asking is not the right question. The right question is 'Is it worth it?'" she said with so serious voice that I was beginning to loose confidence in my answer.

"I will not lie to you Rei-chan. If you go back to the living world you will not have an easy life. It will be a struggle to live through the day. And I want you to think through this carefully. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere and if you have a question, please do not hesitate to ask."

'Is it worth it?' this question was ringing in my ear. 'till this day I never knew parental love, never knew what would it feel to have my mothers comforting arms around me, I never knew how would it feel to have my father chase me down and call me name while tickling till I surrender. All I had was my grandpa and his strange but warm support. Oh and of course I had my fire. The warm, inviting, fiery fire. But all that changed when I had my friends. Strong yet gentle Makoto, shy and bold Ami, bright silly Minako and of course the others Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru even Setsuna. And my favorite, my princess and my love Usagi. People would think I would fall for someone entirely different and I agree. I would have never thought I would fall for stumbling stupid crybaby. But I have and I can't make myself stop. I tried, but failed.

Usagi is a crybaby, sometimes she gets on my nerves that I can't breath even but she is so much more than that. I love her more that anything.

Suddenly there's a pain in my chest. I know this feeling. How could I not. It happens every time she talks about her Mamo-chan, of how great he is and so on. It makes me remember my one-sided love for my princess. I clutch at my chest trying to make the pain go away.

If I go back to living there would just pain, waiting for me for eternity. My love would be never returned as her fate has been written even before we're born. She has to rule the earth beside King Endymion. As I think of this I will myself not to cry. I have been there, I accepted my fate. But is it worth it going back to that eternal pain and loneliness.

'Rei, please come back to me' I know this voice. I can imagine her face right now. Big blue eyes shining with tears, begging me to return. And just like that I knew my answer. It is worth everything to see her again. To see her smile and laugh. Maybe I can't have her love but I know that I have her friendship for eternity. It's worth every pain, every struggle I might endure.

I looked up at the Queen and she was smiling at me.

"Yes, it's worth it" my answer was this and I was happy to say it was from my heart.

"My daughter is very lucky to have you Rei Hino, Sailor Mars, I give you my blessing" and she disappeared. I looked around and again I was in the dark by myself.

As I was thinking of way out I felt this intense pulling. It was like a huge black hole was trying to engulf me entirely. I was pulled back and the last thing I remember is Queen Serenity's voice calling to 'Good luck'.

I was again walking down the familiar corridors of the hospital stopping at the white door with a glass window. As I look inside all I see was a figure resting in a bed and a small girl with two odango's sitting beside the bed. It was the same picture I looked upon ever since the attack two weeks ago. After Rei went into a coma we decided to take turns watching over her but every time I or someone come here for a turn Usagi was by her side. I guess she feels guilty about what happened no matter how we explain to her if it wasn't Rei then any one of us would do the same. But she is this kind of kind person. Maybe that's why Rei loves her so much. Oh I know that Rei love Usagi. I mean how could I not. I'm the Goddess of Love, aren't I. It's just in my nature to feel love and I have been feeling strong feelings from Rei for a long time. I haven't told her. I knew she'd deny and close up even more. But now I wish I had told her and urged her to at least tell our princess. God it gives me headache just thinking about it. So many untold things between us. Ami and Makoto, even me. I guess even as we fight for love and justice everyone of us are afraid of love and rejection. With that in mind I open the door and inter. Just walking in here makes my skin quarrel. This room just has this kind of death aura in it.

"Usagi-chan, how long have you been here?" I ask her. She doesn't stop looking out of the window.

"Konishiwa, Minako-chan, don't worry I was here just 10 minutes before you"

"How is Rei-chan doing today?" I'm worried about her. She hasn't been herself since the attack. Well, we've all been not ourselves since this happened but Usagi is worst of us all.

"Nothing changed since last night. Nurse said this might be permanent coma and asked if we could call grandpa. They're going to ask him if he's willing to take the life support off of Rei" she said this as if she's in a dream. I mean without any emotion. How could she. Rei was in a coma saving her.

"WHAT? AND YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING? HOW COULD YOU USAGI? AFTER ALL THE THINGS REI DONE FOR YOU. HOW CAN YOU BE THIS CALM?" I was starting to panic and I just didn't know what to do. Rei die? It was not possible. I just couldn't imagine the ferry miko dieing just like that. Without a fight, without a choice.

"Maybe it's for the better" I didn't know what she was talking about. How can she be this cruel?

"Maybe she's better of dead than have a princess like me, MAYBE SHE'S BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING ME" Usagi was crying. Oh, how stupid of me, I knew Usagi was blaming herself for this but to think we're better of not knowing? I didn't know she was suffering this much.

"Please, Usagi don't talk like that. I'd bet Rei won't be very happy to listen what you'd said" I walk closer to her and hug the trembling princess in my arms.

"Usagi, listen, if you're going to talk like this then Rei will not wake up. You have to be strong for her now ok. You just have to ask her to come back to us. Believe me, sometimes just talking helps. Now I'm going to call the others and grand and tell them the situation ok. You just sit here and talk to Rei" and I sat Usagi down in a chair and walked out of the door. As I was closing the door I could hear faint whisper 'Please come back to me'.

Again there is darkness I can't penetrate. But this time I can feel. Oh feel I did. I was feeling so much pain in my body that I almost wanted to go back to nothingness. Then I heard someone's voice beside me. I couldn't hear the voice clearly. It was like my ears were filled with cotton. I tried moving my fingers but it didn't work so I tried opening my eyes. The voice was still there and it was becoming a little bit clear. At least I knew the voice belonged to a woman.

After much effort from my part I opened my eyes. I quiet couldn't see clearly. But the only thing I saw was deep crystal blue eyes and a quiet whisper of "Rei". I was back.

_Author: So how was it? Please review. _


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